Sunday, 3 November 2013

Blog 24

So this will be my last post as a 24 year old as Wednesday (November 6th) I turn 25! I know 25 isn't a milestone age but it seems like a real grown up age and with the fact that when I was little my life was mapped out to be married and have children by the age of 28 I think I need to hurry up and get my life sorted.. Haha!! 
So I spose really this is a blog post to look back on the last 24 years and to see how much of grown and how far I have come in my life.. 

My biggest achievement so far this is a hard one because it's a toss up between two things so I'll just throw them both out there, the first I think was renting our first and 2nd property. In the 2 years we have lived together we have worked our butts off to be able to afford rent continue with my shopping addiction and be able to live life the way we did when we lived at our parents. Despite having to make a few cut backs and sacrifices I think we have done pretty well, and the fact we have still continued to save for a mortgage fills me with happiness that all the hard work we both do most defo pays off. We recently went to see a mortgage advisor who has said within the next 6-12 months we could be looking at buying a place of our own.. For two people who have more or less been able to maintain a social life to the standard we did before rent and still save up on the worst kind of paid jobs out there that's pretty impressive. 

The second has to be with my job it kind of ties in with the first one, some of you may know I left my first hairdressing job nearly 2 years ago after working their for them for 9 years, my first job gave me my qualifications and I will forever be thankful to them for what they did and how much they helped me and I shall never regret working for them but things happen times change and people move on, and since leaving them my career has taken a serious turn for the better, I'm now doing my goldwell colour masters degree and have entered myself into lots of competitions. I have also helped out at a few catwalk shows as a little intern but iv enjoyed the experience so much and it given me a completely different outlook on my career I didn't mind doing it for free.. I'm just so thankful to my bosses for the 100% support they give me and to my lovely loyal clients that have gotten me where I am today.. 

My worst lows in the past 24 years.  Well life is like a roller coaster anyone who says it's all be plane sailing would be lieing it's how you deal with things and what outlook you take on things that help you through your lows. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, that times are there to test you to make you a better person and life is gar to short to worry. 
I try not to let myself get knocked down but I think one of the worst times of my life was with one of my boyfriends. It's ironic  that he also shared some of the best times in my life with me too. I won't name any names because that's unfair I will just refure to him a 'J' 
J played a huge part in my life he was my first serious boyfriend that I honestly could say I loved and that I saw a future with. Obviously that vision wasn't too accurate as some of you will know Iv been with my Steve the past 4 and a half years. But J made me smile when no one else could. Things took a bad turn when trouble at home (his home) interrupted our relationship we became distant to the point we just didn't recognise each other anymore, he broke my heart and despite stringing me along for a good few years after our official break up he will to this day still send me the most random texts about past times. I wish J all the best in his new life and despite back then feeling I had nothing i thank him for our failed relationship as it taught me a lot about myself and helped me find Steve (my partner of 4 1/2 years) J taught me that in order to love someone else I needed to love myself when he left I tourched myself to the point my family were extremely worried.. Never again will I let someone determine my life so much. Life is what you make it and I never plan to get myself back into that dark place. Anyway spending time worrying about stuff only gives you wrinkles. 

Looking to the future 
Well my idea of having a house being married and having 2 children by the age of 28 is now unrealistic. In the next 5 years I hope a proposal is in order with possibly changing from a miss to a mrs and changing my last name, I'd rather like the fact I (all going well) will have completed my masters degree in hairdressing and may look into doing my level 3 nvq to broaden my prospects.. 
I don't want to own my own salon nor would I really be interested in going mobile but i would like to be extra successful within the salon I work in. 
Finally id like to think that babies were on the cards in 5 years time. 

But for now I'm happy to take each day as it comes and look forward to my 25th birthday celebrations 


Friday, 1 November 2013

All good things will end

Well this is not my normal kind of blog post it's more just a post to remind me on feelings when I look back in years to come. So yesterday Thursday 31st October 2013 my nans house was officially sold and keys handed over... 

It was such an emotional day and to say I didn't have a few tears yesterday and the days leading up to it would mean I was lieing. 
My nan has lived in that house ever since my dad was a little boy, as a child growing up every other weekend I was blessed to spend the whole weekend with her from the Friday night right through to the Sunday night. 
The weekends I didn't stay at my nans my sister did. It was more company for her especially after my grandad died. 

As a youngster around the age of 5 I got glandular fever and was very very poorly with it. I was off school for more or less a full academic year and was lucky to attend ant more than 3 classes a week when I eventually did return. My nan used to look after me on the days my mum had to work. This is when my very first memory stars.. 
Back then my grandad would have been alive and I remember getting sudden bursts of energy even if it was just for 5 mins and I can always remember my grandad telling me to be careful of the side cabinet I used to run past in fear I would split my head open.. Other than that the only other memorie I have of my grandad is him pickin me up from nursary with a ice finger waiting in the car for me and his leather driving gloves and bead seat cover... 
My grandad passed when I was around the age of 6-7. My nan was devastated but she carried on for the sake of her children and grandchildren.... 
My nan didn't drive so my uncle spent most weekends with us too. I remember packing my little suit case on a Friday after school and taking it to my nans, Saturday mornings would alway consist of smtv live and cduk followed by a yummy breakfast of jam on toast with a nice cuppa. My uncle used to then pick us up and take us to his. 
My nan and uncle are very keen gardeners so my nan uses to help him with the garden while I watched music channels on sky..... 
Saturday evenings at my nans always consisted of a salad tea and SUPRISE SUPRISE or blind date casualty was always a one we would watch my nan would pour me a very small glass of ginger wine and I thought i was the most grown up little girl in the world and kicked back while choping down on salted peanuts.
Sundays always consisted of a garden centre or two and my nans white wine chicken that smelt amazing and tasted just as good.. 

Growing up I have so many lovely memories of holidays and times spent with my nan, i Am so truly gutted I never got to spend the time with my grandad like I have with my nan, and as hard as I try to remember him and more memory's I guess I was just far too young when he died.. 

My nan introduced me to cups of tea, brought me clothes i knew mum and dad never would and always took me to mcdonalds when we went into town. 
She is such an admiring lady and I have everything to thank her for. 
She shaped me into the person I am today. 

So with all the above memories and others such as nan teaching me to knit when we started clearing her house after she went into a care home it was the most heartbreaking bittersweet weekend. It was the same weekend me was due to move from our first house into a new bigger apartment And seeing my nans house empty was just too much. 
So here I sit outside what once was a beautiful home to my lovely nana writing this blog post remanising on all the beautiful memory's it holds while staring at the sold sign waving in the gentle night breeze.  The place looks so empty the lights are off and it's safe to say this is no longer a home just a standing house... 

But it's not all doom and gloom. Despite my nana being a very good age (94) she's still with us, it may not be in her home but she's still here In a nice residential home where we can make lots of new memory's with her. (Their is still lots of life in the ol gal as yet) 

The one thing i will miss the absolute most on top of everything is going to see my nan after watching the local firework display. It was always tradition to go round and warm up with a cuppa with chocy biccys while sat around her big table. she would always give me my birthday pressies... As my birthday is the day after firework night the suspense of knowing I couldn't open any parcels until the following morning killed me but the excitement carried me off to bed the moment I got home to make the following day come quicker..

I know at the end of the day my nans old house is nothing but bricks and water, bricks and water that will be the start of a new generation of memories. 
What I remember from all the past will stay with me in my heart forever and if I ever lose site of what my nan was like and what she did I will just look in the mirror and see her smiling back at me.... 
The house may have gone now but the memories I hold in my heart will never fade.... 
Im guessing if anyone is reading this the moral of the story is never to take a special loved one for granted and know that whatever happens in life the memories that you have made will forever more be in your heart ready to be opened and told one day 

So as I said its not my normal kind of blog post and I don't expect many to even have a comment for this it's just for me to sit back write out how I'm feeling and look back on it in years to come.,